What to Do When You Love Jesus, But You Struggle with the Church

Feeling hurt by the Church but still drawn to Jesus? You’re not alone. This post explores how to hold space for both faith and frustration, and how to keep walking with God even when your Church experience is complicated. Whether you’re feeling burned out, judged, or just lost in Catholic culture, there’s room for you here.

I need you to know this right up front: you’re not the only one who loves Jesus but feels conflicted about the Church. If that’s where you are right now, I want you to know that your love for God is real—and your struggles are, too.

This isn’t coming from a place of theory. It’s coming from lived experience. I’ve wrestled with Church teachings. I’ve been wounded by silence when I needed truth, or judgment when I needed compassion. And I’ve still found reasons to stay—not because everything is perfect, but because Jesus hasn’t let go of me.

Maybe you’ve been hurt by someone inside the Church. Maybe you’ve seen hypocrisy up close. Or maybe you just feel like you’ll never fit the mold of what a “good Catholic” is supposed to be. Whatever your reason, I want you to know this: Jesus isn’t scared off by your questions. And neither am I.

The Church is a Hospital, Not a Hall of Fame

It’s a cliché because it’s true—the Church is made up of broken people, and sometimes broken people hurt others. That doesn’t make the hurt okay. It does mean the Church’s holiness doesn’t come from us—it comes from Jesus.

There’s a lot of beauty in Catholicism, but there’s also a lot of mess. If you’re wrestling with that mess, it doesn’t mean your faith is weak. It means you care. It means your conscience is alive.

The Catechism reminds us that “the Church… is at once holy and always in need of purification” (CCC 827). That paradox can be hard to hold—but it’s a tension baked into the Catholic tradition itself.

Loving Jesus Doesn’t Require Denying Your Pain

You don’t have to pretend everything is fine to stay in the Church. Real love makes space for honesty.

You can sit with Jesus in the quiet of Adoration and say, “I love You, but I’m angry at what I’ve seen.” You can say, “I believe in You, but I feel lost in Your Church.” Those prayers count.

In fact, they’re the kind of prayer God has always received. Just read the Psalms, or Jeremiah, or Job. The Church has always had space for lament. So does God.

Remember Who Called You First

Before you knew doctrine or memorized prayers, Jesus called you by name. Your relationship with Him started before you ever stepped inside a parish—and it’s not dependent on anyone else’s perfection.

Even if priests fail you. Even if fellow Catholics judge you. Your love story with Jesus stands.

The Catechism reminds us that “faith is first of all a personal adherence of man to God” (CCC 150). Not to an institution, not to a system, but to Him.

Faith is a Relationship, Not a Report Card

You’re not graded on how seamlessly you fit into Church culture. Your faith is not a performance. It’s a relationship—sometimes beautiful, sometimes messy—and you’re allowed to show up just as you are.

I’ve heard from so many Catholics who feel like they’re “failing” because they’re not perfect. But the saints weren’t perfect either. They just kept turning back to the One who is.

If You Need Space, Take It—But Stay in the Conversation

Sometimes healing requires stepping back. That doesn’t make you a bad Catholic. Take the time you need—but stay in conversation with God while you’re sorting it out.

That might mean praying at home for a season. Or going to Mass but skipping the after-Mass donuts. Or reading Scripture instead of arguing online.

Stay in your Bible and read the Catechism to deepen your faith. I like this version put out by the USCCB, but there are also more affordable options. If you're looking for a beautiful, study-ready Bible to grow with, I highly recommend the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible—it's rich in insight, faithful to the Church, and approachable for readers at every stage. Let truth be your anchor, even if you're drifting a little right now.

Find the Good

Even when the Church’s human side disappoints you, the treasures of the faith remain. The Eucharist. The sacraments. The Communion of Saints. The sheer mystery of God drawing near in ways we can touch.

If you can, find one piece of beauty to hold onto while you heal. For me, it was the Liturgy of the Hours—prayers whispered by the Church every hour of the day, even when I didn’t have words of my own.

Maybe for you it’s the quiet hush before the Consecration. Or a saint who felt like a misfit too. Or a song that keeps showing up at just the right time.

You’re Not Alone

I promise you, countless Catholics are walking this same road—learning how to love Jesus inside a Church that sometimes breaks their hearts.

I’m not here to sugarcoat anything. But I am here to say: you belong, even if you’re struggling. Your love for Jesus is real. Your hurt is real. And there’s room for all of it here.

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